Missing You.
Jun. 5th, 2006 04:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swestrupWell, I guess I'm awake. I couldn't sleep last night, or more accurately, I didn't want to sleep last night. I knew that when I woke up today, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
azrhey would be gone. Close and good friends are rare in this world, and at any one time I only have a handful of them. Way back when I was writing about love in the wake of Deniz' death, I made a locked post to and about the six people in the world who mean the most to me, who I count as my closest friends, only one of whom isn't on LJ.
Things happen. Deniz, of course, is gone and the non-LJer has gotten a life and has drifted out of mine so although I still care for her deeply, I never see or talk to her any more. Since then, firstthebabynancy and now azrhey have moved away. Of that list of six, there are now only 2 who I have any chance of seeing on a regular basis.
I will still keep in touch by phone, email, LJ, what-have-you, but I find that friendship is a high bandwidth thing. You can't linger over coffee on a terrace with someone by email. You can't hug someone by text message. And LJ is no substitute for long and deep conversations over a meal and a bottle (or two) of wine.
As a result I'm feeling lonely and abandoned and I KNOW its a terribly selfish way of looking at things, but I feel as if much of my support network has vanished, during the period in my life when I've needed it the most. I want nothing but the best for my friends, I just wish they could have found it closer to home.
azrhey would be gone. Close and good friends are rare in this world, and at any one time I only have a handful of them. Way back when I was writing about love in the wake of Deniz' death, I made a locked post to and about the six people in the world who mean the most to me, who I count as my closest friends, only one of whom isn't on LJ.Things happen. Deniz, of course, is gone and the non-LJer has gotten a life and has drifted out of mine so although I still care for her deeply, I never see or talk to her any more. Since then, first
thebabynancy and now azrhey have moved away. Of that list of six, there are now only 2 who I have any chance of seeing on a regular basis.I will still keep in touch by phone, email, LJ, what-have-you, but I find that friendship is a high bandwidth thing. You can't linger over coffee on a terrace with someone by email. You can't hug someone by text message. And LJ is no substitute for long and deep conversations over a meal and a bottle (or two) of wine.
As a result I'm feeling lonely and abandoned and I KNOW its a terribly selfish way of looking at things, but I feel as if much of my support network has vanished, during the period in my life when I've needed it the most. I want nothing but the best for my friends, I just wish they could have found it closer to home.
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 05:05 pm (UTC)And as we grow older, there are fewer and fewer people we still have contact with, never mind close contact with, that knew us 'when'.
That, I think, is the bane of today's society.
But, change is good - it gives the opportunity to have new experiences, make new friends.
It's just not the same, I'll be the first to admit.