Introducing

[swestrup]

New! Improved! For Your Convenience™ Brand
Analgone™
Analgesic Barrier Cream.

USE: This topical wonder can cause total temporary relief from the pain, swelling, itch and irritation of internal piles (haemorrhoids) and other related conditions. It is also highly effective in the treatment of diarrhea and chronic flatulence and can greatly speed the healing of diaper rash and similar dermal irritations. This product is formulated with a unique transdermal delivery system that promotes optimal absorption into the anus where powerful muscle contractants, unique bonding agents and a patented mix of tissue fusion enzymes combine to totally eliminate the anus for up to 8 hours at a time.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The following information is intended to supplement, not substitute for, the expertise and judgment of your physician, pharmacist or other healthcare professional. It should not be construed to indicate that use of the drug is safe, appropriate, or effective for you. Consult your healthcare professional before using this drug.

SIDE EFFECTS: Blurred vision, dizziness, irritability, nausea, bloating, weight gain and severe constipation may occur. In some cases sexual performance may be hindered. If these effects persist or become bothersome, inform your doctor. Notify your doctor if you experience: limb swelling, skin discoloration, brown rash, chest pain, changes in eye pigmentation, difficulty urinating or convulsions. If this medication makes you dizzy or lightheaded, avoid driving or engaging in activities requiring alertness. If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist.

DRUG INTERACTIONS: Use in conjunction with Laxitives is strongly discouraged. Be sure to inform your doctor about all the medicines you use, (prescription and nonprescription). It may be advisable to reduce food intake while using this product. It is important that you do not use this medicine more often than three times a week, or permanent rectal loss may occur. In emergencies, the cream can be counteracted with our new AnuOne™ product. Ask for it by name.

Comments

[denizsarikaya.livejournal.com]

OMG WTF. I actually thought that might be useful for a few minutes.

Help.