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Confession
Oct. 11th, 2003 03:14 amI'm not sure that this Live Journal thing is working the way I had hoped it would. You see, I do write in it regularly, but I don't write the important stuff, the stuff thats in my head. I've noticed that there have been any number of things that have happened in the months since starting this that I haven't written a word about, because they were too important to me in one way or another. I guess I'm just not someone who is good at baring my soul.
Here's a stupid example: about 2 weeks ago I started writing a book. Now, thats not a big secret. I'm even writing it with two other people. The thing is, I didn't mention it because I didn't want to, I dunno, somehow jinx the entire project by announcing it to the world.
And thats a minor item. I find I can't even HINT at some of the things in my life that are more important. So, as a journal of my inner states, LJ has been a major flop. It has let me keep track of my daily activities, or sort of. I find I often say 'a meeting' rather than who I'm meeting or why. Or 'going to a friends house', without specifying who. 20 years from now, I'll never be able to figure out exactly what I was doing.
Still, it has encouraged me to write more, and more often, and I've met a bunch of interesting people this way, so I'm not about to stop writing in this thing. I'm just a little... disappointed with myself for not feeling free to express myself fully.
Here's a stupid example: about 2 weeks ago I started writing a book. Now, thats not a big secret. I'm even writing it with two other people. The thing is, I didn't mention it because I didn't want to, I dunno, somehow jinx the entire project by announcing it to the world.
And thats a minor item. I find I can't even HINT at some of the things in my life that are more important. So, as a journal of my inner states, LJ has been a major flop. It has let me keep track of my daily activities, or sort of. I find I often say 'a meeting' rather than who I'm meeting or why. Or 'going to a friends house', without specifying who. 20 years from now, I'll never be able to figure out exactly what I was doing.
Still, it has encouraged me to write more, and more often, and I've met a bunch of interesting people this way, so I'm not about to stop writing in this thing. I'm just a little... disappointed with myself for not feeling free to express myself fully.
