A Very Long Night.

[swestrup]

I've been awake all night, which isn't too surprising considering when I woke up, but I've spent most of that time babysitting sucha, who isn't doing too well. She's gotten extremely frail and now there is a noticeable wobble to her when she walks. She's spent the last few hours sitting on a towel in the bathtub. She seems to prefer to be there when she's feeling bad. She's been crying for attention, so I've been spending most of the night sitting nearby, giving her attention, and doing some crying of my own.

Her disease seems to come and go in cycles. She'll seem to be recovering for a while, and then she'll get worse and stop eating for a few days. Eventually, she seems to regain her appetite and she starts eating again, but she never fully recovers the weight that she's lost. She's now gotten so skinny and tiny that you can feel all her bones when you pet her. As I sit and watch her in the bathtub, I can't help but wonder if she'll make it through the night and recover again, or if this is it for her.

Right now, outside my office window, the first real snow of the season is falling, and it echoes the cold I'm feeling inside.

Edit: She seems to have finally fallen asleep. I'm going to hope that this is a good sign. I'm sitting quietly in my office next door, in case she should wake up and call for me again.

Comments

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

What you describe is one of the worst feelings in the world. Thinking about you guys.

[azrhey.livejournal.com]

I have been wondering, and ask more out of curiosity than anything, how do you guys decide where the bondary between wanting to have the cat around and wanting to stop her suffering...

I know it sounds crude like this , but never having had a pet in this situation and having other people in my flist that have been having to make this decision I do wonder...

[swestrup]

Its a very tough decision, especially when the pet is sometimes doing better, sometimes worse. The vet said we'd know when she stopped eating, but she's done that several times, and then started up again.

Essentially, we'll do what we've done for the last few months: We'll watch her and if she doesn't start to show signs of getting better, or getting her appetite back, it'll be time to take her to the vet for the last time.

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure the vet didn't say "when she stops eating", but "when she can't get to her food by herself".

[azrhey.livejournal.com]

yeah I think that would be the best thing.
oddly, like my great-grand-ma.

She was 98 or 99, still semi autonomous, she managed to play a game of cards that evening and said she was a bit tired and wouldnt play a second one. She went to bed slept and never woke up.

I think it is the best way of going, for humans and friends.

You two take care...

[pythonian.livejournal.com]

My thoughts are with you both.

I've been through this before. It's never easy and the more prolonged the illness, the harder it gets.

Take care.

[blacksquiggles.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry :( I remember the hell we went through with Smokey and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Take good care. I hope she finds some comfort.

[hill-slug.livejournal.com]

I think it's wonderful that Sucha has such great people watching over her right now. She knows she's not alone.

[designergirl.livejournal.com]

My heart breaks for you and taxlady! I have gone through the loss of a beloved pet and having to make that decision to have him put to sleep and it is sad to see friends going through it.

sucha will let you know when it's time but I hope that she can hold on a little longer and if she must leave this world, leave it peacefully and surrounded by the people that love her.