Not Happy.

[swestrup]

I've been depressed a lot recently -- not a big surprise, I'm sure. Anyway, I was starting to feel better yesterday, before I ended up tossing and turning all night with a blocked sinus preventing my sleep. I finally fell asleep sometime around 5:00 am, and crawled out of bed at noon. The sinus is still blocked and I feel awful. On top of that, I need to write 10,000 words in the next three days to finish NaNoWriMo on time. That would be easy, if I could get any sleep!  I haven't written a word in the last 4 days because I've been a walking zombie the entire time.

Comments

[azrhey.livejournal.com]

i hear you!
I am full in winter is all bad mood
although i havetn weritten anything in a while, there will be guiness tomorrow at 6 at old dub... wanna join me/us? i could use a westrup certified hug!

[swestrup]

I would love to see you on tuesday, but I can't promise anything. Basically, I plan to put my head down and work on the novel, and I won't go unless I written around 6000 words between now and then.

[azrhey.livejournal.com]

okies :)

[swestrup]

Sorry I wasn't there. I hadn't gotten *anything* written by 4:00 pm, so I decided not to go. Now though, I'm finished a day early, and wishing I had gone...

[azrhey.livejournal.com]

iz ok, there will be other tuesdays!

[lasher.livejournal.com]

I know that this can be a touchy subject for some people... and the situation with medical care differs significantly country to country... but have you ever considered any "therapy" and / or antidepressant medication? I know that I went through a long long long period of time with much of the same feelings that you seem to show in your journal... and it wasn't until I got on antidepressant meds (at the right dosage - which is a bit trial and error) before I started feeling like a 'real person again". It helped SOOOO much for me. In fact, 2+ years later... I am now in the slow process of backing off of the meds to eventually come off of them.

Regardless, I do hope that you can feel better soon. I know that it is hard to do with some of the things that you have going on... and with the lack of sleep. However know that insomnia is a common symptom of clinical depression.

[swestrup]

I'm generally against the idea of medicating against depression unless its chronic. I really couldn't say if what I have now would count as chronic or not, but I suspect not.

Ask again in another year and my answer may be different.

[lasher.livejournal.com]

i felt the exact same way as you about medicating. i was flat against it seeing as how i had worked in the mental health field for some years (i processed insurance benefits and claims for it and interacted with the clinical folks). i suffered for a long time because i felt that i did not want to medicate for depression. i felt that i should just be able to will things better. for me, i started out as that I would be "depressed" for a few weeks or a month... then fine for several months... then it changed over time to be about 50/50 of depressed to not depressed... and then down to about 70/30 depressed to not depressed... until it was nice to have a few days of not feeling utterly down and worthless. it wasnt until I was at that really low, constant point that I could never drag myself out of that I sought out help - and medication. However, I am a strong believer that your recovery and your medication is only as good as the doctor perscribing them - I have seen too many people MORE messed up from medication than helped because they had the wrong drugs for them, or was in the wrong dose, or because the person didnt take the medicne as perscribed. so, it can be tricky.


just from reading your journal... and not knowing you personally.. it would appear that you do have a chronic problem with low level depression. naturally, I am not a doctor... I only play one on tv... BUT the real issue boils down to if YOU feel that you have a problem that gets in the way of your life. i would never presume to tell someone else what they NEED... just offer ideas to consider. so if you dont your "down periods" significantly get in the way of your life and contentment, then that is all that matters :)

[lasher.livejournal.com]

oops... typo...

"so if you your "down periods" don't significantly get in the way of your life and contentment, then that is all that matters :)"

is what i meant to say