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WorldCon Blues
Aug. 10th, 2009 08:42 amLinda is feeling ill. I think she has the Con crud. I'm going to go wake her soon and see if she feels up to going to the Con, but I expect the answer will be 'No'. I'm sitting here wondering what I'll do in that case. I had planned to go to a last few panels, the closing ceremony, the dead dog, and maybe some parties. Then there's the CSA tour tomorrow that I'm signed up for.
I don't feel like doing any of it. Now that I've stopped the whirlwind rushing about, and stopped to consider, I think this is probably my worst WorldCon ever, and I don't think that has anything to do with its organization. I've always felt a bit alone in the crowd, and this year its worse than I can remember.
I have gone to a few panels, but most were dumbed down too much for me, and those that had interesting conversations were so populated that I couldn't interject anything useful. I may as well have been watching a documentary. In other years I would have been ON a panel which would have made it feel more of a dialogue, plus it would have meant hanging out with various authors who often have interesting things to say.
This year, I have met no authors. I have had no interesting discussions. I haven't even (except for one notable exception) gotten together with friends to do lunch or hang out. I've gone to parties and ended up in a number of discussions, most of which were the fannish equivalent of 'nice weather we're having, eh?' Somehow I don't think I've really connected with anyone this Con, and I can't help wondering when these folks stopped being my people, but that's what it feels like.
So, as I'm sitting here thinking about getting dressed and heading out to the con, I can't help but feeling an overwhelming emotion of 'Why Bother?'
I don't feel like doing any of it. Now that I've stopped the whirlwind rushing about, and stopped to consider, I think this is probably my worst WorldCon ever, and I don't think that has anything to do with its organization. I've always felt a bit alone in the crowd, and this year its worse than I can remember.
I have gone to a few panels, but most were dumbed down too much for me, and those that had interesting conversations were so populated that I couldn't interject anything useful. I may as well have been watching a documentary. In other years I would have been ON a panel which would have made it feel more of a dialogue, plus it would have meant hanging out with various authors who often have interesting things to say.
This year, I have met no authors. I have had no interesting discussions. I haven't even (except for one notable exception) gotten together with friends to do lunch or hang out. I've gone to parties and ended up in a number of discussions, most of which were the fannish equivalent of 'nice weather we're having, eh?' Somehow I don't think I've really connected with anyone this Con, and I can't help wondering when these folks stopped being my people, but that's what it feels like.
So, as I'm sitting here thinking about getting dressed and heading out to the con, I can't help but feeling an overwhelming emotion of 'Why Bother?'
