Visions of Deniz.
Feb. 18th, 2005 01:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swestrupI turned 13 the day I arrived in Montreal, and everything here was new. I was unused to the people, the language, the customs. It was all rather new and frightening and my closest friend lived over 6000 km away. I have never been good at making friends and I found myself to be very lonely in a city full of strangers.
After a couple of weeks, I started seeing people that I thought I knew from back in B.C. I would just catch a glimpse of someone going through a door, or walking around a corner, and be sure that they were someone I knew. Every time I was quick enough to go and get a second glimpse, I found out that I had been mistaken. They would have had some very superficial resemblence to the person I had mistaken, but no more than that.
Eventually, of course, I made friends over here and stopped misrecognizing strangers. Once or twice since I've had something similar happen, usually when I'm out of Montreal and feeling homesick.
Well, lately I've been catching glimpses of someone and thinking they were Deniz. Its happened four times so far. Each time a second glimpse or a double-take has quickly shown me the the error. They have all ended up looking nothing like Deniz, except for wearing the right kind of floppy hat, or having a certain shape to their nose, or the right kind of curly hair.
I've never had this happen before when surrounded by friends. Some part of my subconcious must be trying very hard to find Deniz, and I can't say I blame it.
After a couple of weeks, I started seeing people that I thought I knew from back in B.C. I would just catch a glimpse of someone going through a door, or walking around a corner, and be sure that they were someone I knew. Every time I was quick enough to go and get a second glimpse, I found out that I had been mistaken. They would have had some very superficial resemblence to the person I had mistaken, but no more than that.
Eventually, of course, I made friends over here and stopped misrecognizing strangers. Once or twice since I've had something similar happen, usually when I'm out of Montreal and feeling homesick.
Well, lately I've been catching glimpses of someone and thinking they were Deniz. Its happened four times so far. Each time a second glimpse or a double-take has quickly shown me the the error. They have all ended up looking nothing like Deniz, except for wearing the right kind of floppy hat, or having a certain shape to their nose, or the right kind of curly hair.
I've never had this happen before when surrounded by friends. Some part of my subconcious must be trying very hard to find Deniz, and I can't say I blame it.
