Defriending.

[swestrup]

I've been defriending a bunch of folks lately. A bunch of folks have been defriending me as well. It would be a lie to say that these are not causally connected, but there is only about a 50% overlap in the lists. Basically, having bunches of people decide to defriend me in a short interval has added to my depression, especially as a number of them were folks I like and was hoping to get to know. As a result I find that I've been defriending folks who I might well normally have kept on my f-list, but who haven't been posting lately, or have only been posting on topics I can't generate any interest in right now, or something of the kind. In one special case its because the reminder in my friends list is just too painful. Some of these are even folks that I know and like in real life. Consider this then a blanket apology to anyone who might be upset by it.

Comments

[blacksquiggles.livejournal.com]

I can relate. I wish I was less sensitive, truth is it bothers me *every* time, even if the person and I have had a falling out.

The weather is helping nothing, I'm tired of living in the dark...

[thebabynancy.livejournal.com]

If I had a loonie for every person who friended/de-friended me... *laughs*

I know that I've been paring down my list lately... for the most part, it has boiled down to time - there's not enough of it to post/read/comment/reply to each and every entry that comes down the pike. In other instances, I found out after the fact, that I really had nothing in common with certain individuals... and in some cases, there was a certain degree of animosity present.

I really have never taken LJ that seriously. Maintaining a large community on LJ... having a personal camwhore LJ with (at one time) a friends list which exceeded LJ's perametres(sp)... and being stalked online several times... and other unspeakable instances. Taking LJ that seriously gives it too much power... IMHO.

I really wouldn't take it personally unless someone sent you a dead bunny or put a fish on your pillow or pushed you down the stairs. Or something.


:) N

[jdhobbes.livejournal.com]

LJ shouldn't call it your Friends list because it's just people you read, not necessarily "Friends" in the strictest meaning. It's just people that I read and people who read me.

I'm not sure what else I'd use though aside from "LJs I Read" and "LJers who read my journal". Is there a term for that?

[sps.livejournal.com]

Readers and Writers.

[thebabynancy.livejournal.com]

precisely.


*waves*


:) N

[swestrup]

The problem is that LJ has worsened the situation by insuring that the only way you can give someone permission to view your journal is by putting them on your friends list.

As a result, some of the folks who have 'unfriended' me have, deliberately or not, shut me out of their lives, since I can no longer read their journals at all. *That* is the part that hurts.

Its also the sheer number of unfriendings lately that bother me. To paraphrase myself: if one person doesn't like me, that's their problem. If lots of people don't like me, that's my problem.

[thebabynancy.livejournal.com]

I really think that you're reading too much into it. I doubt it was a mass de-friending in a span of an hour... or a conspiracy.

If you were de-friended over the course of time... by a number of people... I would say that they're likely unrelated in the reasons why.

Your feelings notwithstanding... I really don't think that you should take it that personally. For every 1 person who de-friends you... 20 people add you.

It's hard not to wonder why... especially if one assumes there was a mutual "friendship" and to be removed with little or no warning.

Just don't let it consume you...

*hugs*


:) N